On Sadism: The Dark or the Light

We have used our words, together, to find ourselves at this moment.  Negotiated, and drawn boundaries clear and bright.  Now we are ready to leave words behind.  From here, there is only raw emotion. 

How do we go to this place, together?

Here is how I hope we do NOT go.

With me, snarling and savage, taking all that you will give.  Teeth barred, eyes dark.  Taking glee in your every scream, in the way your head hangs, defeated.  Growing stronger from your suffering.  Darkening your world, until you see nothing but me, glowing with your stolen light.

With you, hurt and afraid, sinking toward the darkness.  Begging for it to stop, while you know it will not, CANNOT stop, until I am ready.  Losing yourself in the suffering, in the rhythm of the blows, your very heartbeat becoming mine. 

Until you are broken.

Here is how I hope we WILL go.

With me, smirking and laughing, taking, while I also give.  Back straight, eyes aglow.  There, on the horizon, is something brilliant.  It’s that desire of yours.  The one which you most fear, the one which is shame or humiliation or self-negation to even acknowledge. 

And I am dragging you toward it.

You, fighting, struggling.  But knowing I am the stronger.  With each step we take, your resistance crumbles.  Soon, you are walking with me.  Soon, I have to hold you back to keep you from running.

I make you kneel, before it.  So bright, it burns.  I hold your face, and make you stare long into it.  Make you beg me to make it brighter. 

Until you are whole.

I help you hobble away.  Smiling, I treat your wounds.  And we talk about your brilliance.